finally, and in conclusion, chapter No. 296.

so the thing finally sees the light of day. here, originally from 2003, is some information which has in the last few days become more relevant, or indeed, relevant again. presented for completion's sake, and because a few people actually asked me, again, about all this. good that it's out, though.

also see: https://simply-superior.blogspot.com/2017/02/oh-ye-of-little-faith.html


"background: the "Alan and Sylvia" mentioned in this letter are Alan and Sylvia Cook, friends of both Chris Watson and myself. Alan is one of the great unsung heroes and influences on parts of the "industrial sheffield scene", as well as being on several h3o recordings. I used to regularly visit them, and on one occasion we were in the vicinity of Western Works, the (now demolished) Cabaret Voltaire recording studio, and decided to drop in. Richard H. Kirk and Steven Mallinder, the two remaining members of the group were not only long standing friends of Alans, but acquaintences of mine. I can't say I was ever close to them, but I knew them, and had done ever since Flesh had played support to them in Newcastle (poster etc elsewhere on the brainwashed/h3o site, now at archive.org).

I had been petitioning all three of them, mainly through Chris, to agree to the release of "Chance Vs. Causality", the long-lost Cabaret Voltaire soundtrack to a film of the same name by Babette Mondini (as she was called at the time), of which a fragment of the audio was released on a 70's b-side. it is a stunning piece, and deserves release. at the time, the best possible solution would have been to do this on Touch, being, as it was then, pre-eminent in the field of sophisticated packaging and attention to details. I had located the film maker (which none of CV had been able to do), and all the machinations were arranged to effect what would have been a very fine release. but Chris kept dragging his heels...on, and on...which was the case with everything one tried to get him to do. and still is.

so, when passing the the studio and deciding to drop in, I casually asked if Richard & Mal had thought any more about the proposal. Richard replied that they had their own Doublevision label, and that if it were to see the light of day, that is where it would emerge from. no tensions, no demands, nothing untoward. just a casual enquiry and casual answer.

this document is the result of Chris being told of what I had "done" (whatever that is), and is presented here to clear up questions I am regularly asked, and to publicly show the levels of engagement that he states himself as applicable to his involvement with The Hafler Trio. the rest speaks for itself."

oh Ye of little faith...

are you sitting comfortably? then I'll begin...

once upon a time, long, long ago, but not so  long ago that it has faded into the quicksand of what I laughingly sometimes refer to as "my memory," there was an entity with the bright and breezy appellation, "The Hafler Trio." not for us to debate where that particular labelling arose at this time: all will become clear in the end, at some later date. their uncountable exploits and meandering attempts to free the universe of suffering will be recounted at tedious and overpowering length someday by someone better equipped to rouse the empathy required to even slightly comprehend it.

be that as it may (and it most certainly may), the various humanoids associated with the project were not limited to the three; nay, and indeed double nay. rather than less than a Trio, it was, in fact many. one of their number was a splendid, unsurpassed loony and man of loveliness rejoicing in the name Alan Cook. of this personage, a book could and should be written; it has been many moons since his whereabouts were known to Your Friend and Humble Narrator, and so that job cannot be done. but a man as large as life and twice as dangerous - a man who wished no applause or recognition for his incredible, jaw-dropping Dadaist acts and behaviour which was, apparently, impossible for him to turn off.

This writer was wont to partake of this stream of wonder in Sheffield, in person, from time to time, having been introduced by one Christopher Richard Watson, he having been an instigator of what was to become the h3o project, and so it was that one balmy day, after many adventures indoors and out, that we were whiling away the time between acts of nonsense on a grand scale and the departure of the bus back to Newcastle Upon Tyne. suitably lubricated by various methods and substances, as befits this period, ambling and yes, slightly stumbling along the Sheffield streets, lightbulb above the great man's head manifests: TO WESTERN WORKS WE JOURNEY!

and Lo, we were indeed on the edge of the area which in times past had been populated by The Little Nestors, the silversmiths of Sheffield in 'better' days, and was now home to The Western Works - the name of the studio where Cabaret Voltaire, well-known beat-combo of yesteryear of which the previously mentioned C. R. Watson had been a member of, had been established for some time [the legendary Robol was a bit further down the street]. "We'll go and see Richard and Mal!" quoth the tall, imposing, full-bearded Mr. Cook. and so we sallied forth. and would you Adam and Eve it? they were at 'home'! the ever-paranoid Richard H. Kirk and his gorgeousness Stephen Mallinder ["the best-looking man in Pop" according to Paul Morley] were indeed present, and having not seen Alan for some time, and not knowing YHN very well at all, the atmosphere was "weird."

backtrack: in the beginning of the h3o, Mr. Watson shared some items of the past with YHN. one of these was a tape of a soundtrack to a film called "Chance Versus Causality." although a small section of this was released as the B-side (how quaint that seems to type that now!) of a 7" single (ditto!) named "Silent Command" in 1979, the full, approximately 45min item had never seen the light of day. this, YHN enthused, could be done through the agency of Touch, the multimedia (for want of a better word) outfit that YHN had set up with Jon Wozencroft and Gary Mouat. CRW hummed and hawed, chastened to the extreme by his experience (unpleasant, that is) in the cesspool of The Record Industry, but YHN continued, as he always did, to badger the former about this again and again. as was CRW's style, he would put off actually speaking to his erstwhile former compares about the matter by saying he "was going to do it soon."

YHN had found the maker of the film, Babeth Mondini (now, here with the correct spelling of her second name) in Amsterdam though the mighty Z'EV, who knew her, after CRW said that CV had no idea where she was, and so permission to release would be difficult. obstacle removed, thus. Touch was dedicated at that time to excellence in audio and visual production, and so objections on that score were throttled at birth.

fast forward: YHN and The Very Reverend A. Cook stood before the other two-thirds of the equation as regards this potentially excellent release, and the former idiot opened his big fat mouth and asked if Chris had spoken to them about it. something was mumbled about them releasing it on their own label, Doublevision and exit stage right the largest two people in the room.

a week later, CRW 'resigns' the Hafler Trio operation with a letter which was previously published on the internet some years ago.

still reading? eye candy coming up. promise.

as the years drew on, YHN was approached by some that shall remain nameless to bootleg the item, after further negotiations with CV had failed - the project having never been released on Doublevision, that having collapsed under the weight of one Paul Smith, whose name should strike terror into the hearts of those with even the barest acquaintance with him. frustration ensued, and artwork and a master were prepared. and so, without further ado, and to finally get rid of this nonsense, here is the rough artwork prepared at that time (ca. 2002). don't ask for the tape. I couldn't give it to you even if I could find it. I leave it to the gentle reader to examine, should they have the inclination, and to work out the references and synchronicities involved with this apparently simple design. good day to all.

front cover

back cover

CD label

you were warned. and now, 'proof'.

from the Cabaret Voltaire Facebook Group page:


Andrew McKenzie, of The Hafler Trio, describes the hall-of-mirrors effect this sort of thing kicked up — while still remaining halfway in character:

“Next to the Western Works in Sheffield, the studio of Cabaret Voltaire, as it were, was a small terraced house. In it was a man claiming to be German and Scottish, who had several businesses there. He had three or four women sewing jeans and stuff in there, and he used to sit around the ‘office’ wearing a kilt and playing the bagpipes. This was utterly ridiculous to start off with. There are some promo photos of Cabaret Voltaire with him playing the bagpipes in the background.”

“So, he was named Robert Sprodgeon (or something close to that), and one of the companies named on the blue plaques on the door was "Robal Nuclear Fallout Shelters.” So we had to use this. So we changed the name a bit, and used it. Later, I started receiving letters from a guy in Manchester who had books by Spridgeon, as we had called him. Then he started send me xeroxes of them, which was really creepy. You see, people always used to be annoyed when they couldn't find his books in the library, but we said on the insert of the first LP ‘all material by The Hafler Trio’ and we never lied.”

and now, photographic evidence!

I had been looking for these for ages, so thank you, Simon Dell.