Saturday, November 10, 2018

neither here nor there.

some of the people who read these words will recall a name or two: Khari, Audrey Del Sol, dua42, Kandinskij, and a few others. this is to let you know that the picture above is of this person, who I have very recently learned is now deceased, five years ago. she would absolutely hate that her picture was now public. my feelings are incredibly mixed; I lived with this person for roughly 2.5 years, and we had a child together. this person, er, no - entity, calls up the following in me now:

provocateur privately (not seeking glory for it like so many others) / impossible / a pointed stick / too far (gone) to hold onto / the personification of someone lost in the "in between" / someone with a history which was denied but omnipresent / a social litmus test / sadness seeping from every pore / intelligence destroyed by choices based in imbalance and paranoia / almost there but turning back at the brink of discovery / the futility of the certain / potential dissipated and dissolved into the ether

I will no doubt add to this.

light and dark were all the same to her, so there is no use in asking for her to go towards anything at all.

sorry it took so long, and I really did forgive her. she never will do that for me.